dear lifeylife...
now i tgh stage EYE
mmg minor nye stage even tho we have test every single day tp takpe, semua tu xde sesusah mana, at least xsesusah menahan air mata bile kene tgok mata patient(esp old people, coz i have this thing about old people)...
what happened today, sedang kami bergembira bermain dgn this eye loupe thingy to inspect our friends' eyes, tibe2 ade sorng makcik masuk ruangan mata with her daughter i presumed, she was around 60, late 60 mayb, i dont really know whats the problem, but she sat at the slit lamp with our lecturer, and had her eyes checked, the the lecturer called us to come nearer and said,
eye loupe
"now i want u to look at her eye, she has mature cataract and...bla bla bla(telling us on how to use the slit lamp).."
slit lamp
cataract
and the woman with cataract, just sit there, stare blankly as we looked into her eyes... she's very old, and she cant see!! my eyes started to blur with tears("telan awa!! telan air mata tu!! jgn nanges depan patient!!!", i said to my self..)
next, was the Shadow Test, and next the visual test(usually using the Snellen cart but she cant see that far so we tried the counting fingers and the hand motion test)
u see, she has a mature cataract in her right eye and an immature cataract in her left eye..
so her visual is very very very bad!
Snellen Chart
when we finished doing all the tests, we bid her Good Bye and Thank her for letting us check her eyes. obviously, we were the one who had to thank her a great loads as we are just students and just merely looked at her eyes and didnt even treat her, but what made me so emotional is how she thanked us back, so gratefully, as if we had just treated her eyes! lepas die keluar trus berair2 mata...
**sigh**
that is so unprofessional man! we doctors have to be empathy and not sympathy, tapi bagaimana? kata hadi, "kau kene anggap semua manusia tu sama tanpa perasaan", kata intan, "bile patients dah sakit teruk, n lambat dtg, aku just ade perasaan marah saje, n bukannye kesian, sape suruh die lambat dtg jumpe dokter", kata awa, "die org tua, n i really cant stand the blank old stare from their eyes, tak tahan, luluh rasa hati"
kesimpulannye, cik awa xleh ngengade nak keje secara tetap kat department Geriatric okey?!
::melihat normal iris form the slit lamp adelah sngat mengagumkan, SUBHANALLAH! cantik nye ciptaan Allah, the iris nmpak mcam hamparan baldu, warna coklat keemasan, sngat cantek! my jaw literally dropped open ms tgah tgok iris tu::
6 comments:
mataku yg sebelah kiri pun mcm tu jgk. ada katarak, tp bulat dia tu belum besar. apa nasehat anda?
uik?
sile lh jumpe dr dgn kadar yg segera
to have a confirmed diagnose..
"telan Awa,telan....
hahaha...guess it's 1 of the many things u have to bare and learn to cope darl..nway,fully aware that u'll be fine,really
uhuk2!
ttau nape kalo tgok makcik2 or pakcik2 yg tua yg jalan pun macam bertatih tu jd sngat sebak....
urgh
by hook or by crook, i just have to telan n deal with it lah nampak nye kan?
adeh..cmne ne kak awa??sabar2..huhu
macam mana? huhuhu, macam tu la dik. nak kene telan air mata. i just wonder nnt bile da menetap kat hosp n kene tgok org mati dpn mata bagaimana agak nye emosi ini, mau lari masuk on-call room the meraung sepuas2nye kan? hahahah~
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